Funny Names

Here’s a few people I keep hearing a lot about, ordinary people like you and me whom I’ve never actually met. Perhaps you have. Where did they get these names from anyway? Perhaps you can think of others.   Peter Out Sally Forth Jack Shit Olive Oil Chook Poo Peat [sic] Soil Bill Number Pearly Gates [ Bill’s sister?] Catherine Wheel Phillips Head   [ disclosure: I never consulted Wikipedia for any of these ] Continue reading Funny Names

The Fall

  Though he dabbled in figures of speech, His fall was hardly metaphorical; more the garden variety Really, a plummet from a high ladder while trimming trees, The side of his skull crushed by the water meter. For three days he held on, then they pulled the plug, Burying him in the ground, a medium he loved to potter in. At the funeral speeches a few days’ later, all his faults Forgotten, he came up smelling roses.     Continue reading The Fall

After All This Time

Isn’t it funny: you spend half your life trying to find someone and then improbably you bump against them in a beach-side pub only a few stops down from you and after you shake hands, embrace, sink a few beers, catch up on the past you find you have nothing really in common; you make  arrangements for a meal in a few weeks time which neither of you will attend. Continue reading After All This Time


  You’ve taken away Two Of my buddies You bastard You won’t get a third.   I’ve got your number You sleazebag With the sickle and suitcase Full of cancers, Heart attacks and accidents.   You’re like that kid from My schooldays Who enticed away my friends And left me Alone.    Well, Up yours You fucker And get your filthy hands Off my friends.     Continue reading You