Barfing in the Bushes

The career trajectory of an Olympic swimmer, it has been reported, went into a steep dive when he began barfing in the pool during meets. Recently, at a pizzeria, struck by a bug, I began barfing in the bushes. It did not affect my career prospects though it affected the people around me, ‘Can’t you barf quietly?’ my companion proposed. ‘No, I can’t. Can anyone?’ I challenged.

. It did, however, produce a poem in which I compared the retching body to a washing machine. Like that household appliance, the retching and pre-retching body must run through its cycle before the cleansing contents can be disgorged and it, like the clothes, can then be hung out to dry.

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4 thoughts on “Barfing in the Bushes

  1. thanks Carolyn; I haven’t actually written the poem but I reckon the metaphor is strong enough without one 🙂

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  2. Graham Greene wrote a pre-war short story entitled “Off the Edgware Road” wherein a poor fellow has an outbreak of tummy gurgling in a cinema. This is a life-long affliction of his – as it always happens when in the presence of people and in public places. It is very loud. It is based on fact – maybe an acquaintance of his. On this occasion, his tummy loudly and perfectly rang out the English National Anthem – God Save the King. It’s worthwhile to find this story and find out the ending.

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